Excerpt from Delectable: A Neighbor from Hell Novel
No release date yet, but that won’t stop me from teasing you 🙂
“So, where should we start?” Sara asked as they stood there, holding the rusty hammers that she’d managed to find yesterday when she’d rummaged through the garage looking for anything that they could use today.
“The cabinets?” she suggested, because they seemed like the easiest place to start.
“Sounds good,” Sara said, nodding as she pulled her sunglasses on and raised her hammer, clearly ready to commence with the destruction of Kasey’s ugly kitchen only to hesitate. “Maybe we should empty them first?”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Kasey agreed, chewing on her bottom lip as she glanced from the top cabinets filled with dishes and bowls to the kitchen sink.
Since she kept her cleaning supplies in the small “pantry” the small cabinet beneath the sink was empty. Deciding that was the place to start, she gestured towards the sink. “That’s empty.”
Nodding, Sara said, “The sink it is.”
And with that the two of them took up positions in front of the sink, assumed positions of destruction, and with a nod, they both swung. Sara’s swing resulted in the rusty hammer breaking in two upon impact and Kasey’s wild swing-
-resulted in something really bad happening.
“Why did you do that?” Sara demanded as they tried to stop the water from spraying everywhere, but with the faucet now embedded in the small kitchen window there was nothing to stop the water from spraying everywhere.
“Get a towel!”
“Okay!” Sara said, nodding like an idiot as she grabbed a kitchen towel and handed it to Kasey who quickly shoved the towel into the hole she’d created in a desperate attempt to make it stop.
But it didn’t.
What it did manage to do was to make the water spray out harder through the sides, soaking everything within ten feet. Worrying her bottom lip, she slapped her hands over the hole, which once again, didn’t work out like she planned.
“Why are the sinks filling up?” Sara asked as she frantically searched for something else to shove down the hole.
“I don’t know!”
“What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know!” she said, although it really should have been obvious at this point.
“Maybe we can shut it off by-oh, crap!” Sara started to suggest when Kasey somehow managed to push on what remained of the faucet and made things worse.
A lot worse.
“Oh my God!”
“Stop yelling!” Kasey yelled back, trying not panic and failing quickly as the water that refused to go down the drain now poured over the top of the sinks and flooded the floor along with the water that was shooting out everywhere.
“I can’t help it!”
“What are we going to do?” Sara asked, waving her hands around as an idea came to Kasey, probably not a good idea, but an idea nonetheless.
“We have to stop the water,” she said and with that, she hopped up onto the counter, turned around and with a silent prayer, she shifted back so that she was sitting on the hole.
“Oh, my God! It’s working!” Sara said with a relieved smile as Kasey sagged with relief and-
“Oh, crap,” she said when the move caused her to shift and she felt the pull on her shorts.
“Did something just rip?” Sarah asked, meeting her gaze with a frown.
Nodding slowly, Kasey said, “You could say that.”
“Oh, that’s unfortunate,” Sara said, clearly biting back a smile as Kasey was forced to sit there, wondering how this had gone so wrong so fast.
“Yes, it is,” she said, deciding that this wasn’t helping and moved to climb off when she realized something else.
She was stuck.
Somehow her shorts had become stuck on the faucet handles, which she took as a bad sign. Shifting to turn, she heard another interesting rip and then-
“Ouch!” she gasped when something stabbed her shoulder.
“Uh oh,” Sara mumbled as Kasey became aware that her bikini top had become snagged on the faucet that had embedded itself in the window and had just ripped it in two.
“Damn it!” she said, pressing her arm across her chest as she tried desperately to free herself from the faucet, but the move only managed to rip her shorts further.
“Help me!” she said, pulling her legs up and placing her feet in the sinks full of water and tried to push up only to-
“Ow!” she yelped when the moved caused something sharp to dig into her ass.
“Oh, I don’t think that helped,” Sara said with a tsk and a sad shake of her head.
“I know that!”
“Stop yelling at me!” Sara cried, wringing her hands together.
“I can’t help it!”
“Fine!” she snapped back, only to end with a groan as she took in her precarious position.
She was stuck in the sink with her boobs hanging out, her ass hanging out, something stabbing her ass and shoulder, water trying to shoot its way up where it didn’t belong and absolutely no idea how to get out of this situation.
“Okay, I think you’re going to have make a choice,” Sara said, nodding to herself as though she was trying to psych herself up for what was about to happen.
“What?” she asked weakly as she tried to move off the sink, but it wasn’t letting her go.
“Your boobs or your ass, Kasey. Make a choice.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Your boobs or your ass!” Sara snapped, looking terrifyingly focused as she picked up the hammer that got them in this mess in the first place.
“What? Neither, you demented psycho! Get me down!”
“I don’t know how!”
“Well, then Google it!” she yelled, uncaring that she was now screaming as water continued to…well, she really didn’t want to think about the way the water was currently violating her.
Sara opened her mouth, closed it and then opened it again with an excited gasp while Kasey was forced to sit there, soaked to the bone, cold, semi naked and distraught that her demolition project was not going to according to plan.
“I’ve got it!” Sara said with an excited squeal as she turned around ran off, sliding and stumbling most of the way towards the door while Kasey sat there, shaking her head and sighing, “Whatever,” as she sat there, trying to tell herself that it could be worse, but at the moment she wasn’t sure how that was even possible.
Thankfully, Yummy came tearing into the house a minute later, letting her know that yes, yes things could be get a lot worse.
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