Delectable: A Neighbor from Hell Novel

Reese’s book…

Expected in 2017

 

Excerpt:

“How many men?” Kasey asked as she dumped a bag of ice in the old red cooler that she kept for days like this.

“Three,” was Sara’s, her best friend since eighth grade, no nonsense response.

“Women?” Kasey asked, running a hand through her short spiky hair as she opened the refrigerator and considered her choices.

“Three women.”

“Children?”

“Seven, but they’re inside with the women,” Sara said, keeping a vigilant eye on the newly rented beach house next door. As the only permanent resident on this strip of beach, Kasey felt it was her duty to know what was going on next door, for safety reasons of course. Sara, the good friend that she was, felt it was also her duty to help in this endeavor. They liked to refer to themselves as “The Neighborhood Watch.” It was a tough job, but someone needed to do it.

Deciding that they were definitely going to need sustenance for this job, Kasey grabbed several of the large, cold whoopie pies that she’d picked up at Karl’s Grocery last night and tossed them in the cooler along with a six-pack of Coke. She shared a look with Sara and knew they couldn’t put their responsibility off any longer. With a nod, she closed the cooler and carried it towards the backdoor where Sara was holding the door open for her.

Without a word, they walked over to the old picnic table that sat at the edge of her property, which just happened to be right next to the neighboring cottage’s driveway and afforded them a great view of the activities that they really needed to keep an eye on.

Folding her arms over her chest, she approached one of the large, shirtless men carrying a suitcase. She noted his good looks, perfectly tanned body, and the name “Zoe” tattooed across his left peck. Not bad, she thought as she came to a stop in front of him.

“We need to speak to your wives or girlfriends, or whatever they are,” she informed him.

For a moment he could only frown down at her until one of the other men joined him. “What’s going on?” he asked and of course Kasey noted that this one was also devastatingly handsome, had a perfect body and had that bad boy look that she really liked.

“They want to talk to our women,” the first man said, still frowning.

“For what?” the second one demanded.

“Guys?” she said, drawing their attention. “If you could just go get your wives,” she said, noting the wedding bands on both their hands. “We really don’t have much time here,” she said, gesturing for them to get on with it before crossing her arms back over her chest.

With a shrug, the men walked off following the third man, the much larger and hotter of the three men, she’d like to add, into the house. When two women stepped out of the house a moment later followed by the two men that she’d spoken with she had to hide her surprise. She’d actually expected the men to have supermodel wives, but this was definitely a nice surprise.

The two women were a few inches shorter than her. The first one, the one smiling sweetly, wore glasses, and had long bronze hair pulled up into a messy bun and was adorable in a vixen kind of way. The other one was cute, had long brown hair pulled into a ponytail, and was a little on the chubby side, but if the look the man with the “Zoe” tattoo was sending her ass as she walked towards Kasey was any indication then her husband had no complaints.

“Hi, I’m Haley,” the woman with glasses said as she held her hand out. Kasey shook her hand as Haley gestured to her friend. “This is Zoe and you’ve met our husbands, Jason and Trevor.”

“I’m Kasey. I live next door and this is my friend Sara. We’re here to ogle your men while they work, but if that’s a problem for you then we’ll go back to ogling them from my kitchen window, but we’d rather not since the view’s not as good,” she explained with a shrug.

“It’s true. The view isn’t as good,” Sara said on a sigh.

Zoe and Haley’s lips twitched while their husbands let out twin snorts of disgust as they returned to sorting through the bags in the back of one of the large SUVs.

“And do you do this often?” Haley asked, sounding amused.

“No,” Kasey said, sighing. “This is an honor we only bestow on my neighbors two, maybe three times a summer.”

“And how many times a summer does this cottage get rented out?” Zoe asked, looking equally amused.

Kasey shared a look with Sara before she answered, “Two or three times a summer.”

Both women chuckled. “And what if the men are old or overweight?” Zoe asked, chuckling.

“Then we’re obligated to add catcalls to our ogling session,” Kasey explained.

“It really goes a long way to helping with their self-esteem,” Sara added solemnly.

“It really does,” Kasey agreed with a shrug. “We perform a public service of sorts.”

“They’re not going to let you ogle us,” Jason pointed out as he walked past them carrying what looked like an Xbox system.

“They’re very possessive,” Trevor said, shooting another hungry look at his wife’s ass.

“No, we’re really not,” Haley said, sounding bored.

“You can stare all you want,” Zoe added with a shrug.

“How could you betray us like that?” Jason demanded in outrage. “I thought you loved me?”

Kasey grinned hugely as the woman shrugged indifferently, earning another gasp of outrage from her husband. They were a very entertaining family. She liked that. Too many times over the years she got stuck next to some real jerks. This was going to be a nice little treat for her.

“If you’d like to join us in our ogling we have Coke and the best whoopie pies in the area,” she said, gesturing to the picnic table.

“Whoopie pies?” Jason and Trevor asked in unison, shooting a hungry look towards the cooler. She noticed that the third man just kept on working, not bothering to stop and say hello or wipe that scowl off his face.

“I’m sorry, guys, but they’re only for the spectators. If you win our competition we’ll give you one,” Kasey explained as she walked back to the picnic table and sat down. Sara sat down on her right and she was pleasantly surprised when the two other women joined them.

“What competition?” Jason asked, frowning and clearly not getting this.

Sara handed out drinks while Kasey asked, “What’s the point of ogling if we don’t pick a winner?” in a tone that said they really should have known that.

“You’re going to judge us?” Trevor demanded, folding his arms over his chest as he glared down at them.

“Of course,” Sara said with a shrug as she handed Kasey a Coke.

“It is our civil duty to figure out which one of you is the hottest.”

“You’re going to let them do this?” Jason demanded of his wife.

Haley nodded as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I think it’s a good idea…unless you’re afraid you’ll lose,” the woman said with a mischievous little grin.

“Lose? To him? Puhlease, my little grasshopper. That would be a cold day in hell before I lose to-”

“Damn straight you’re going to lose, you bastard. There’s no way-” Trevor began, but she felt it was time to for them to return to working so that they could properly ogle them.

“Yummy is in the lead,” she felt obligated to point out.

Both men frowned down at her, but it was Trevor who demanded, “Who’s yummy?”

She shifted to the side so that she could point at the glowering man as he grabbed a large box and threw it over his shoulder. “Him and he’s at least five points ahead of you now.”

“I’d say six points,” Sara said, adding, “He’s got a nice ass,” when both men turned their glares on her.

They opened their mouths, probably to argue, when their wives said, “He really does.”

How could you?” Jason demanded hoarsely as he shook his head in disbelief.

Haley shrugged. “He does and if you want to win then I’d suggest you get moving so we can see the goods in action.”

“I’d give him two extra points for that Celtic tattoo on his shoulder. It’s hot,” Zoe said before taking a sip of her soda.

Trevor gestured wildly to the tattoo on his chest. “How the hell can you say that’s hotter than this? It’s your name!”

Zoe shrugged. “I’m just saying…”

“Guys,” Kasey said, drawing back their attention because really, she did have other things to do today, “if you could get back to work I would really appreciate it.”

The men simply stood there glaring at her.

Deciding that perhaps the guys needed a visual, she reached back into the cooler and grabbed one of the large, overfilled whoopie pies and held it up so that they could see what was at risk here. The men’s glares instantly disappeared and were replaced by desperate need. They licked their lips hungrily as they took a step towards her.

“Sorry, but you need to win these and remember the winner gets a bag to call his very own,” she said, once again gesturing for them to get on with it.

Jason snorted at that, seeming to come to his senses. It probably didn’t hurt that she’d dropped the whoopie pie back in the cooler and out of sight. “We’re not whores that you can buy with a few delicious looking baked goods.”

Trevor shrugged. “I am,” he said, leaning down to press a swift kiss to his wife’s lips. “I better get an extra point for willing to whore myself out for this competition.”

“Two points,” Sara said and when Haley and Zoe murmured their agreement Jason stormed off, muttering something about home wreckers and a bad little grasshopper.

For the next ten minutes they watched the two men doing their damndest to win. When they awarded points for Best Set of Abs, Jason shoved Trevor into a bush. When they awarded points for Best Hair, Trevor put Jason in a headlock and brought him down to the ground where an amusing fight took place and they ended up awarding points to Trevor for Best Fighter. That of course caused Jason to tackle Trevor to the ground and they were forced to call it a tie.

Whenever they awarded points for Yummy, and Kasey couldn’t help but wonder if the third woman watching the kids in the house belonged to him, Jason and Trevor glared at him. He didn’t acknowledge them in any way except of course that little tick that went double time in his jaw whenever he won. He really was a yummy specimen and she wouldn’t mind a summer fling with him, but he was also grumpy and grumpy equaled too much work for a fling so she focused all of her attention back on the two men glaring at her as they carried more bags into the house.

“These really are good,” Zoe said, practically groaning in ecstasy as she took another bite of her whoopie pie.

“They really are,” Haley agreed as she went to take a bite, but suddenly found her baked good ripped out of her hands. All four of them looked up to find Jason holding the stolen whoopie pie.

He scowled down at his wife as he took a huge bite. Then, after sending her one last glare, he stormed off. Trevor wasn’t too far behind, but not before he stole Zoe’s treat and Kasey’s cooler.

“I guess they realized that Yummy was winning,” Kasey said, laughing with the other women as she stood up.

“I have to get back to the office,” Sara muttered unhappily as she fixed her platinum blonde hair and smoothed down her blouse and skirt. She looked at Haley and Zoe as she said, “Thank you for the best lunch break ever.”

“You’re welcome,” Haley said, grinning hugely as she looped her arm through Zoe’s and the two women followed their husbands inside the house.

Kasey waved goodbye to her friend as she collected all the empty cans and wrappers. Just as she finished picking up the last empty soda can she looked up and found a pair of intense green eyes watching her from the driveway. She sent him a wink as she walked away. “See ya later, Yummy.”

“The name’s Reese,” he said in an erotically deep voice that sent goose bumps racing over her skin.

She looked over her shoulder and ran her eyes over his damp bare chest, rope after rope of golden muscle and shook her head. “No, you’re definitely Yummy.” With that she walked back to her house and prepared herself for the long night ahead of her.

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